Sunday, 11 January 2009

• * sometimes you just gotta wait for everything to fall into place.

  One of my main concerns with the realtionship with my boyfriend
  is that I was scared that he wants to avoid the fact that he needs to go back to school soon.

  The day that I left for my winter vacation back home,
  the power went out in my apartment when everything was turned on
  so he had to take my keys and turn everything back off after I left.
  I think this really pressured him into the delimma of taking on responsibility again,
  but he knew it was necessary since I had no one else who I could turn to.

  In the end he took the keys,
  took me to the airport,
  and returned to my apartment to shut everything off.

  A few days after,
  we were talking and he told me that he wants to go back to school
  and not waste time anymore.

  Even though he just goes to college with me now for part time,
  that is a start.
  Now that we go to school together,
  we're both out looking for jobs again,
  and he sleeps over 2 or 3 nights a week (without us having to sneak around).

  Now that I look back into everything I cried over, worried over in the past,
  it really makes me think why I did all that.

  Realistically many of these things I can not change myself.
  If I just sat through it patiently and do everything I believe I should do,
  then it'll all sort out on its own anyways.

  I don't need to plan out where I want to be relationship wise in 5 years,
  I don't need to figure out where I think he should be in 5 years,
  I don't need to think so much.
  Even if I just sit here and enjoy what we have now as much as we can,
  and do what I think I should do,
  we'll sort these things on our own, as our relationship grows.

   

  Now all thats left is just focusing on supporting him,
  and saving some money up maybe for a vacation in the future,
  and at the same time helping him save up money.

  Who knew he's trying to find a way to get a steady income so he could make a deal with his dad?
  $500 a month and his dad will buy him a place to live...
  and he wants me to move in with him... =]
  

  All those things I cried over in the past 19 years...
  don't matter anymore.

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